I'm too old for this shi-

A lot of stuff has changed since I wrote that last entry. (It's dated August 29th, I guess cos that's when I first saved the draft, but was actually finished and posted months later. I don't mind particularly cos at least it makes it look like I update semi-regularly but I have a habit of writing a few lines at a time over long periods, so I think it's a bit of a weird that blogger publishes it with the date of when it was first saved.)

I've started a Graduate Traineeship in the library of a Medical Research Council as (potential) preparation for a Masters in Information Studies (or some such). I'm enjoying it so far and life always feel easier when you've got a tangible path to follow.

Said route doesn't provide a panacea- it hasn't magically alleviated all the Masters v work; working here v abroad; what work; what degree etc debates that were puzzling me before I left for Korea.

Maybe it should feel weird to be at those same crossroads, facing the same decisions as I was before I left, even if I've headed down one fork a little way.

But even before I found this job I wasn't feeling stressed or stagnant. In fact, if anything, I was uncharacteristically cheery. I don't think that the experience of travelling changed me massively or set me on a specific road. But I do think that it made me more quietly confident that life works out.

I think that that whole "stress is for other people" attitude might tie in rather nicely with Caro and I's resolution for 2010. We're giving ourselves until January 10th 2011 to complete a list of things we might be considered too old to do, inspired by the 'Murtaugh' episode of How I Met Your Mother in which Barney accepts a challenge to fulfill such a list after being kicked out of laser tag for being too rough with the kids by Bunny Colvin the manager.

We've lifted some of the obligations from the episode (and from other HIMYM eps), but have provided plenty of our own inspiration too!

1. Get a piercing.

2. Dye hair a non-natural colour.

3. Sleep on a futon/the floor.

4. Stay up all night.

5. Play laser tag.

6. Go to a squat party.

7. Drink shots with strangers.

8. Beer bong.

9. Hang a poster up without a frame.

10. Eat a whole pizza in one sitting.

11. Set up an annoying two person answerphone message.

12. Teepee something.

13. Help someone move out of a building (house/flat/office etc) in exchange for pizza and beer.

14. Travel by train across Europe.

15. Wear mesh or fishnet.

16. Have a Buffy and/or Supernatural marathon.

17. Watch Waking Life in a mentally altered state.

18. Live for an entire week on noodles, cheese on toast and tinned soup.

19. Drink cheap Russian beer.

20. Wear an animal print skirt out in public.

21. Urinate in public.

22. Jagerbombs.

23. Sing a cheesy 90s song at karaoke.

24. Eat at a cheap Chinese buffet.

25. Join a fan club.

26. Buy badges with stupid slogans on them and wear them.

27. Steal a street sign.

28. Tell the cow joke.

29. Do 100 shots of beer or cider in 100 minutes.

30. Eat a bowl of cereal with something other than milk.

31. Wear something from a skate/surf/ski store.

32. Shop at Miss Selfridge.

33. Buy a children's toy from a toy shop for self.

34. Watch cartoons all day.

35. Ride inside a shopping trolley.

36. Get a lollipop/sweet from a restaurant which gives them to kids.

37. Watch the whole Hollyoaks omnibus.

38. Forward a stupid chain email.

39. Eat a whole tub of ice cream in one sitting.

40. Drink alcopops all night.

41. Wear body glitter.

42. Send a serious email entirely in txt spk.

43. Do 5 shots in a row.

44. Party all night at a Walkabout.

45. Sing along to Can't Fight Fight This Feeling. In public.

46. Make out with someone at least five years younger than you.

47. Highfive.

48. Drink so much you throw up.

49. Leave an unnecessary voicemail that's longer than 5 minutes.

50. Go to a theme park.

51. Call someone in the middle of the night to randomly tell them you love them.

52. Dance on a table/pool table/bar/some other unsuitable surface.

53. Do a "have you met x" intro.

54. Make out with someone of the same gender (or opposite if that's not your usual taste).

55. Order a kids' meal.

56. Make a slap bet.

So if you want to play too copy and paste this into your own blog, cross them off as you go along and let's see how we do!

time keeps on slipping, into the future

I've started writing this entry a few times: when I got back from Asia finally; from Brighton; from Jo'burg; when I was briefly back from Liverpool before dashing off to Europe.

I always start by saying "So now I'm properly back in London. Except for...".

But this time there's no but (but for the three in this sentence anyway). Sure there's plenty of ever present possibilities: Brighton tempts easily, as do Manchester, Liverpool, Bristol, Edinburgh, Passau, Prague, Athens, Nairobi, Singapore...

I think that I should take the opportunity though, while I don't have concrete plans to distract me, to re-settle. And to make some decisions. Although I've been back in London since the beginning of August it doesn't really feel like it, because I keep wandering off.

I do love London. I love quirky Southbank events and (sometimes free!) Bookslams and random weekend festivals and Soho and great gigs and hanging out in wicked pubs and free baklava in shisha cafes and being silly on the tube and reasonably priced theatre and wandering around Covent Garden and peaceful walks in the 'burbs and Notting Hill and cute cafes and free comedy events and stalking Russell Howard and Camden and house parties and the sofas in the foyer of the Royal Opera House and Brick Lane and the Taste of London card and amazing pizza and Orange Wednesdays and awesome pop punk nights and bowling and activism and and and.

The best thing, of course, has been getting to see and catch up with people. Spending time with family and friends wherever and however.

On the other hand, it rains a lot here. And it's cold in winter. And then I get ill. Which is actually the cycle of annoyance that led to me wanting to leave in the first place. Funny how I forgot that until I started needing to remember my umbrella again.

And I'm not sure that I have enough of a reason to stay in London. Sure, I enjoy myself here. But I enjoyed, and could imagine living in, Seoul, Tokyo, Yunnan, Phnom Penh, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Singapore, Johannesburg, Brighton, Prague, Paris...

I also think that the experience of upping sticks and moving to Seoul, and the fact that it wasn't ever too difficult, makes the idea of moving again seem pretty accessible. And travelling around Asia doing really stupid things like driving motorbikes into fences and so forth, might even put the trials and tribulations of visa applications into perspective. Or at least I can distract myself from wanting to stab bureaucrats by looking at my scars.

I'm certainly not set on vamoosing. I've applied for the Civil Service Fast Stream (though not with the best application ever I'll admit: I didn't really realise just how much maths-ing was required) and am in the midst of applying for a parliamentary internship, which is frankly mildly terrifying. Overall, asides from the stark realisation that maybe I shoulda studied politics instead of this anthropology tomfoolery, I'm just not prepared to put up with the downsides of London (crappy weather; long commutes; high cost; stressiness) for something I don't care about. If I'm invested and passionate all those seemingly solid problems just...melt into air.

My aim for 2010-2011 is to do a Masters, which sounds wonderful and definitive...except that I've in no way narrowed down what exactly I want to do. I'm kind of torn between the academic and practical routes.

I really enjoy anthropology. Unlike some of the friends I made on the course, anthropology was my first choice for my degree. I like the way that studying anthropology has shaped my viewpoints, even if it does sometimes frustrate me, and I think I enjoy academics for the sake of academics. Writing essays is actually pretty fun. (Although not as fun as exams, natch.) So I'm certainly tempted by that option. I think if I was going to pursue anthropology in the UK I'd want to be at SOAS (the Anthropology of Media course appeals particularly), and like pretty much every SOAS student ever I've got a bit of a love-hate relationship with the place, which makes me balk a bit at the idea. Another key problem is that Lola Martinez doesn't seem to be teaching any courses I haven't already taken, not that the SOAS site is necessarily the best source of anything other than a guide in how not to design a website. UCL does also have some interesting looking ones, although I'm a little bit perturbed by these three letters: MSc. Better stick to the Visual Culture shiz. I can certainly apply for anthropology MAs (or even, shudder, MScs) outside of this country too. (Just as soon as I decipher the Stanford website's babbling.)

I was also considering the Creative Writing and Authorship MA at Sussex. I love writing (though you might not guess so from the staccato sentences/run on rambling and general nonsense I'm producing right now), and whenever I start to feel jealous of people who have a singular passion and a clear path I guess I fall back on the knowledge that at least writing is a "thing". (See? I'm hella articulate. Stuff and things; things and stuff, yo.) But if I do want to study writing it doesn't need to be in a degree course, there's plenty of other options. The thing that really appealed to me about the course, and what shout have been the tip-off, was the 'Authorship' component. I clearly just want to write about authorship and fanfiction from an anthropological viewpoint, and there's probably no point dragging a Creative Writing Masters into the mix.

I don't necessarily have to follow the ivory tower route though. In terms of the practical side I'm definitely considering Librarianship- I'm an Aquarius, I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach and frisky women I enjoy books, people being quiet and me being in charge of organising libraries. I'd have to do a Masters in Library/Information studies somewhere, and for that you need a year's experience in a library. It's quite a commitment for something I'm not 100% sure about, but definitely worth looking into as it would eventually yield a career and not just lots of essays about the meaning of shrimp.

I was also considering the GDL and LPC route; my somewhat dormant interest in law has been piqued again in recent months. And who likes arguing more than moi, goshdarnit? Most people I've spoken to about it seem to think it's Not A Very Good Plan however, which makes me feel a bit reticent about it. At least it's practical though!

I was thinking about doing a TEFL in the next few months perhaps. I definitely have an interest in English teaching, both for its own sake and for the opportunities to travel and experience different things that it can afford. Seems way farking harder than it needs to be though. Sigh.

Right now I'm itching to do something practical; something real. And not just playing with the binding and franking machines (much as I love them). I spent today dressing dolls, which is a pretty good job as far as things go. I've taken over the role of painter and oddjobwoman at mine- I can't see the point of my parents paying someone to do something I'd happily do. Paint is fun! I love screwdrivers! In lieu of having guns I can clean, it'll have to do. For now.