22 August 2008

How do I feel, what do I say? In the end it all goes away! (Sugar!)

Sometimes I worry that I live in a completely different reality to other people. I'm pretty sure that it's other people who are the insane ones though. For example,
Scotty: You were so funny that night!
Me: Hwha?
Scotty: I can't believe you slept on the floor!
Me: What are you talking about? I slept on the bed!
Scotty: Really? Oh, well I can't believe you offered to sleep on the floor anyway.
Me: What? That was you!
Scotty: Hwha?
Jojo: Would both of you idiots shut up?

My current uneasiness with FB is stemming from mild confusion too I think. First off I'm not comfortable with the idea of being liked. Being adored, admired and appreciated is all good, but I can't think of anything more creepy than the experience of having some sycophantic person telling me that I'm "so cool". Shudder. FB isn't likely to do something like that, thankfully. However he has the irritating crush thing going (although it's Friday now, so perhaps he's over it by now, who knows?), which wouldn't be as bad as it is if it wasn't for the moony eyes. I'm completely incapable of dealing with other people's emotional lives, I just avert my eyes and talk about food or something. I could just ignore him (and thus the whole thing) quite successfully, but the problem is that he is fairly awesome (when he isn't gazing, or annoying me on purpose) especially when bitching- and the five year old in me can't understand why I should have to give something up when I didn't do anything. He's the stupid one, why should I have to deal with the consequences?

Anyway, we had a lengthy (and highly amusing) conversation at some point on Friday (when we were somewhere along the drunk-hungover axis), which climaxed (heh) with:

Him: My ex-fuck buddy's supposed to coming over later, but I really don't want to have sex with her again cos it'll just confuse things even more. I think I'm gonna have to go for a run and then masturbate [*].
Me: *gigglesnort* Have fun!

[*]Who actually uses the word 'masturbate'? I decided to produce this verbatim and not edit it to 'wank' (which is a wonderful and versatile word) because I think it adds to the ridiculousness.

My interpretation of the thrust of the conversation was something along the lines of "look, I know that you know that I like you, and I know that you know that I know that you don't like me like that and nothing's going to happen so I just want things to be cool between us and not awkward". When I explained the whole thing to J however she looked at me aghast and claimed that the correct translation was "I turned down sex for you! Love me, love me, say that you love me...", whilst I'm hoping that she's just being paranoid and insane I'm now a little disturbed. I'm giving FB a fairly wide berth, and accepting the challenge of being as unlikable as possible. If anyone can do it, I think it's me.

Meanwhile K and S are involved in some convoluted and highly disturbing courtship ritual as far as I can tell. This mostly consists of them winding each other up, trying to involve me in their dramas and occasionally getting drunk and nuzzling while they reminisce about past nuzzling incidents. Somehow though it was me who ended up sprawled out on top of K in the street whilst S rolled his eyes. It's a funny old world.

Instead of dealing with said world, how about a dram of escapism? I love the fact that I didn't come across this until I'd actually read Atlas Shrugs: if famous authors wrote fanfiction. It features Anne Rice's take on LOTR, Nicholas Sparks on Star Wars (although it could easily be Mitch Albom instead!), David Sedaris on Harry Potter and, best of all, Ayn Rand on Buffy. Can you imagine anything more perfect? It doesn't contain any spoilers beyond the most basic premises (so if you didn't want to know that there's vampires in Buffy...well oops, it's too late now). On the subject of fanfiction, I discovered Neil Gaiman's explanation of slash which was great, especially this part "It's normally written by extremely nice ladies. I have several very sane, respected, and respectable friends who write slash fiction, and do not try to make me read it". I've also been feeling quite a lot of love for his song I Google You. I recommend reading through the interesting comments on that post, and not only because NG popped by to post the lyrics. I now really want to read The Physics of the Buffyverse, yes a book about the science of Buffy has been published. Ask me again why I love fandom. It sounds like such an interesting book, as does Oullette's other book Black Bodies and Quantum Cats. I love science, especially biology and physics, and was semi-seriously considering dropping out of SOAS in my second year to go and study physics somewhere (not that I'd be able to with no appropriate A levels). I think that was probably fuelled by reading The Science of the Discworld, which is a wonderfully eloquent (and passionate) book. The fact that Oullette was actually an English major who accidentally ended up doing science writing makes it all the more interesting and appealing to me. I think I might actually end up ordering The Physics of the Buffyverse, I haven't ordered anything to my new address yet. Fun, fun fun!

Speaking of the interwebs (see how this all, sort of, inter-relates seamlessly?) Lifehacker's top 10 Youtube hacks actually looks pretty useful. I haven't had a chance to implement their ideas yet but their Better Youtube Firefox Extension sounds pretty good (having the option to turn off the autoplay is a brilliant idea) and their filegrabbing suggestions sound good. My geeky side is also hoping to sort out the blogger widget properly, but in case that takes a while I can at least post it in an entry. Hopefully it won't fuck up!

My sister (AKA Sib) was a little derisive as to the extreme nerdiness of my entries. She just wishes she was cool enough to understand it all. Harrumph like a hippo. The Park Bench is a pretty fun nerdy-lady blog which I've been enjoying. It also furnished me with the link to the 10 geeky movies that should have been great but weren't. I'm in broad agreement with most of it, the Hitchhiker's film was incredibly disappointing (except for the parts which involved Neil Hannon singing) and the Matrix sequels were a pile of wank. I haven't actually seen any of the others (being as I don't watch films) but I feel this vindicates my choice not to watch the third Mummy film (I haven't actually seen the first two either, but I wouldn't be entirely averse to the idea if I could just get through the opening sequence of the first one), A.I., The Time Machine remake and League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (of course no one would be foolish enough to want to watch Waterworld). I'd quite like to see the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake though, it sounds fun although probably not ├╝ber-amazing or anything.

On the subject of awesome blogs I simply have to pimp the Saved By The Bell Quote of the Day blog, could there be a better idea for an online journal ever? Then, mixing my segues like others blend metaphorical cocktails, I'm going to wax poetical about a couple more lists. I always love those lists of the sexiest wo/men because they combine some of my favourite things: hotties, listing and the opportunity to get annoyed by something irrelevant. Often these lists include some really great irreverent commentary (I assume because I'm the only one who actually reads it they can get away with some brilliant randomness). The (who, and also what?) 50 hottest women on TV list managed to throw in what I'd have to literally call bon mots, for example on the subject of America Ferrera:

"Yes, this sure is a big, funny world, isn't it? Throw some braces, bushy eyebrows and bad outfits on a beautiful young woman, and by Hollywood standards, you've got someone "ugly". Of course, we all know that Hollywood is the perfect arbiter of female body images. After all, they've done a bang up job in the past, so why should now be any different? ... it's about time the rest of the industry picked up on just how sexy those curves are."

Their choice for number 1 also made me very happy (a rare occurrence indeed when it comes to these lists). Mary-Louise Parker is indeed a buff ting, and Weeds is awesome. 'Nuff said.

The other list that I wanted to link to was this one of potential good directors for Batman 3 if Nolan steps down (beware of some spoilers for The Dark Knight). Sadly I didn't make the cut, but it was full of sensible suggestions nonetheless. I can't imagine why The Sib was accusing me of nerdiness, alright I did just download a comic but it took me longer to work out the viewing software. I think the geekdom initiation (and secret handshake lesson) are a ways off yet. The comic I downloaded was episode 17 of Buffy season 8 so beware of spoilers for it.

Episode 17 carried on the Fray crossover, which was interesting but a little bit confusing for me. I do want to get around to reading Fray at some point. The introduction stating that 'Buffy's fresh from another doomed relationship' kind of irked me, it's not as if she and Satsu had a (serious) relationship, and what I liked about that storyline was that Buffy finally had a chance to have a fun fling without their being despair and doom. I was pretty certain that the crazy dark haired seer being talked about was Dru (after all, who else could it be?) but the reveal at the end left me a bit dubious, this is where photorealism (or indeed real actors!) would come in useful, otherwise it isn't that easy to be certain that it actually is Drusilla. In fact I thought that image looked a bit like dark Willow... I'll just have to wait for episode 18, dammit! I loved the fact that Buffy actually got to time travel (that's something that never got explored on the show, although there was a time loop), and that little moment where ever-capable Buffy suddenly realises "this is really happening" was wonderful. I liked her whinging about the fact that future-English makes no sense, and her claim that she should have treated the English language better. There was also a hilarious moment where she realised that her stance in that flimsy dress meant that she was flashing her (orange polka dot) underwear, quite a departure from her behaviour in seasons 1 and 2.

I felt a bit like they were trying to at least vaguely set up the idea of Xander moving on and getting into a new relationship, although I could be reading too much into it. He just seemed a bit grabby with Rowena (and we all know that Xander has a Slayer-fetish so that would make sense). Whilst he wasn't acting at all inappropriately with Dawn I thought that perhaps the 'riding' set up/joke (combined with incidents in previous episodes, such as him falling into her giant sized camisole) might be an attempt to foreshadow something. Then again that's what's so fun about Buffy, it encourages viewers/readers to BYO subtext. There's always the possibility of having Xander end up with Dracula I suppose, but somehow I don't think there's going to be a triage of bi-/homo-/alternative sexuality for the main Scoobies, and Xander does really have to remain as the Everyman (and avatar of Joss). Right at the end Harth's speech about his twin sister being his 'true love' suggests there's going to be overtones of wacky vampire incest coming up. Oh the hilarity! Here endeth the season eight spoilers.

The letters page also introduced an excellent concept to me- pronoia. It's the opposite of paranoia, and apparently is the sneaking suspicion that the whole world is conspiring to shower you with blessings. Honestly that is sometimes how I feel when I get to feed my obsessions, yay there are shiny, pretty things! I did get around to reading Sugarshock! the other day too. It's up on myspace but I don't think the transitions are made very clear, so if you want to check it out here's part one, two and three. It's not the deepest thing in the world, but it's a really fun comic and you don't have to get too invested in it. I'd definitely recommend it (especially to you Nanzo!) and can see why it won awards.


Nanzo Trillusion said...

Pah, Anne Rice and her no Vampire Chronicles fanfiction allowed policy. That's a pretty fun parody, though.

I've heard about how the term 'slash' first came out of the Star Trek fandom. I haven't seen any Star Trek, but can't really imagine Kirk/Spock. Wizards and elves > space dwellers I say. The Japanese use an 'x' to indicate the pairing or just fuse the first two syllables of the two names together to form a new word. Just thought I'd throw in a bit of trivia. :p

I had know idea you were planning to chuck the glorious imperial discipline of anthropology for physics. :s Imagine that! We wouldn't be communicating like this if you did, that's for sure!

Miss Anne Throp'ist said...

I am yet to read any Anne Rice... I feel so inadequate. I will eventually! A 'no fanfiction' policy needs to be mocked. Just another reason why I love Joss Whedon, he's suitably encouraging of it, good boy.

Any explanation of 'slash' does normally start with the standard Kirk/Spock introduction. I bet that older forms of slash fanfiction can blatantly be found though.

I'm not surprised you can't imagine Kirk and Spock if you haven't seen any Star Trek! I've never read any (expect for excerpts when people are making An Important Point) but I suppose I can kinda see it just because Kirk was so over-sexed and ridiculous, and Spock was so uber-logical and... also ridiculous. However Uhuru was blatantly the fit one in Star Trek.

Vampires > space dwellers.

I get confused when I see an 'x' between two names cos I think there's some multiplication involved somewhere. I fully support the idea of shoving two names together to create a portmanteau in fiction, but not when it's about celebs (Bennifer etc...ew). I went on a rant about the lame X-Files stuff trying to pair up Mulder and Scully and was sure people call it something rubbish like Mully. Good pairings have good names: Snarry, Spuffy, Spangel, Wincest...etc.

I really think that reading Science of the Discworld warped my mind! Thankfully I didn't drop out, I was great at the science questions at the quiz for a few weeks though.

Nanzo Trillusion said...

Hmmm. Anne Rice is no literary genius, so you're not missing out on tooooooo much by not reading her. I recall 'Interview with the Vampire' being rather good, but then again, I was 15 or so when I read it, so my perception was hardly credible, and the years have dulled my impression. Recently I rather enjoyed 'Queen of the Damned. I think. But yes, she deserves mocking.

Ah, portmanteaus just don't seem to work very well in English, do they? Sorry, but the examples you gave seem more comical than anything. >.> Spangel? Spuffy? I guessed what they referred to, though. Maybe I'm just more used to hearing these portmanteau pairing names in Japanese. Hmmm. When I think about it, RoloLulu does sound kinda stupid, especially when 'Ro' and 'Lo' are written in the exact same character in Japanese. >.> Haha.

Miss Anne Throp'ist said...

I do definitely want to read Interview with A Vampire at some point.

Actually Spangel and Spuffy sound kind of silly, but somehow not as bad as Mully. RoloLulu sounds a bit like a character from a kiddy show! What about RoLu?

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